The Muffin Theory

    Let’s begin. Almost all of us, at one point in our lives, have eaten a muffin. We either buy one, or receive it, or make them ourselves. But whenever we choose one, we tend to subconsciously look for one with the most chocolate chips. Chocolate chips are the highlight of the muffin, without them, it would be quite plain. But there are never quite enough in the muffin. Most people could safely say they would have preferred to have a few more chocolate chips in their muffin, to make the muffin more enjoyable. But not many people ever get too many chocolate chips in their muffin.

    Now, to get to the heart of the matter. When we do look at a certain selection of muffins, we assess which is the optimal muffin with the highest abundance of chocolate chips. We do this because we know there is rarely too many chocolate chips, therefore there is usually not enough chocolate chips. But when we look at one particular muffin, we only see the top portion of the muffin. Essentially, only one-sixth of the muffin, if it were a cube, because the cylindrical side and bottom of the muffin is covered in a wrapper. Furthermore, we disregard the inside of the muffin because we simply have no way to determine the quantity of chocolate chips in that portion of the muffin, until we un-wrap and begin to consume it.

    Let’s continue. We base the muffin we choose merely on the chocolate chip count on the top of the muffin, a substantially small amount of information. Then, we assume that the muffin we have chosen has more chocolate chips then the other muffins. If we look at the manufacturing process of a muffin, we notice that chocolate chips are mixed into the other components of the muffins randomly. Therefore, the chocolate chip positioning throughout any single muffin is quite random.

    To conclude, in all possibility, any muffin that has more chocolate chips on the top portion of its surface area is inclined to have less chocolate chips throughout the rest of it. The question should not be “which muffin has more chocolate chips”, but rather, “where would I like the chocolate chips in my muffin to be situated”. Therefore, the search for the muffin with the most chocolate chips is, in reality, a superficial search, as no muffin has more chocolate chips than any other muffin. If we could, we would look at the bigger picture, possibly the inside portion of the muffin, but since we cannot, we simply judge the quantity of chocolate chips by what we see at first glance. Is this the best way to choose your muffin? Or does it really not matter, because we have no way of knowing which muffin has more chocolate chips until we thoroughly examine every morsel of the chosen muffin, and then decide if the chosen muffin was the optimal choice.

Part 2: The Sprinkled Cupcake Theory

A sprinkled cupcake evidently has all of the sprinkles residing on the surface of the cupcake, so we can accurately choose which cupcake has the most sprinkles. But who gives a shit, I hate sprinkles anyway. You might like them, but I don’t.

How All Of This Applies To Life:

Life is a box of muffins, with a random sprinkled cupcake somewhere in there too. People are the muffins, almost always muffins, but once in a while you find a sprinkled cupcake type person. Chocolate chips are positive aspects of a person’s character or personality, and they are found in muffins [people], and the more chocolate chips [positive characteristics] in the muffin [person] the better. Sprinkles are also usually good aspects of a cupcake, or person, but it depends on the person if they like sprinkles [those certain characteristic] or not. Now, like I said before, people choose muffins [other people] depending on how many chocolate chips [positive characteristics] that muffin [person] has. But when you look at a muffin [person] you cannot see all of the chocolate chips [positive characteristics], you can only see the surface of the muffin [person], so you technically cannot accurately judge how many chocolate chips that muffin has [how good of a person that person is]. You must eat the muffin [get to know the person] and then decide if it was a good choice. Sprinkle cupcakes [people that you can judge from their appearance or a quick acquaintance] do not occur often, but when you do choose a sprinkle cupcake [person] over another one with less sprinkles [certain characteristics], it will be an easy choice because you can see all of the sprinkles on the cupcake [certain characteristics of the person]. First, make sure you like the sprinkles first, because they might taste bad [the characteristics you saw in that person may not have been positive]. Then you should have chosen the cupcake [person] with less sprinkles [certain characteristic].

On the other hand... perhaps you should have a candy bar and a plain muffin and enjoy each for what they are, not worrying about the chocolate chips.

Created by: Richi