This is a real life documentation of a first time MDMA (ecstasy) user’s experience with the drug. It is a conversation between Miguel, the user, founder and owner of YEAH! Films Company, and Richi, an admin of Sativa Hybridz.com and pro-marijuana activist, posted on recommendation of the ecstasy user wanting to give other users forewarning on what to anticipate.

Only punctuation, spelling, and one section of personal comments/names were edited.

miguel: It hit me half an hour ago, I was about to go to sleep then it hit me. Man it’s so fast.

It’s like I did a sick skate run but I’m not panting its so fast its sick! Thanks for having me over, sorry about the nash thing.

richi: Aha don’t worry bout it, just don’t fight in my house lol. Ain’t chillin more fun than fighting anyway? lol

miguel: Yeah true enuff. Haha, but yo E is sick, have u ever done it?

richi: Naw man... oh did u dose?

miguel: oh yea, haha, I did.

richi: First time?

miguel: That’s what I was talking about, yea.

richi: True.. yea but shit guy, E is supposed to make you so happy and empathetic and touchy n shit lol... why would you wana fight? Or did it not hit you yet.

miguel: oh I didn’t hit until 11. And I didn’t feel the effects until 1:40. It’s still getting better and better haha.

richi: Lol truu.. sounds good man.

miguel: Yea hahaha

richi: Now u feel happy?

miguel: Uhm I dunno about happy, I’m all alone here so I feel just normal and content but everything is fast, its like I’m running so fast, but I’m not panting or getting tired, it’s a weird but good feeling.

But yea I feel happy actually, I called ***** and said sorry that I wasn’t talking to her a lot lately so I guess I am happy trying to get all the bad shit out.

ps

Put this convo on the site. Hahaha.

richi: Lol I will if ya want.

miguel: Hahaha interview me, and say first time E'er interview.

richi: Miguel's Ecstasy experience.

miguel: Yea, do it! Fucking ask me anything!

richi: Alright...

Current Time: 2:40 am

richi: What time did you dose and when did effects take place?

miguel: Well, I was told it would take half an hour, I dosed around 11 pm, but it didn’t hit me until about 1:45 am, I thought it never would, then when I was in bed ready to pass out, everything went fast, it was a good feeling.

richi: It took 2 hrs and 45 min for effects to take place, alright, next question: What was the first feeling/thing you felt at 1:45?

miguel: Uhm, I was sleeping, then I got up for some reason, don’t remember why, and then I stumbled a bit, then my head felt weird, my arms feel really loose and my head felt weird, it was just fast and I got a boost of energy, had no desire to sleep anymore.

richi: Was it instant or did the rush of energy just come out of no where?

miguel: Uhm it was pretty much instant, but the rush of energy is still hitting me getting more prudent by the minute.

richi: Other than the rush of energy, what is the best way to describe your current feeling?

miguel: Pumped, like my shoulders and arms just WANT to move like they just want to fucking move it feels so weird. Like they are filled with air and electricity, its an electric feeling. Its just supercharged, haha.

richi: lol nicee.. alright next one; if you could pick one activity, anything, what would you want to do right now?

miguel: Just run, or maybe mosh... like something that’s really really fun like jumping in a playplace ball thing.

richi: Haha yeah.. Is the rush of energy still building steadily?

miguel: Yes first it was hands, then forearms, now its shoulders and pretty much my whole arm, they are feeling the most electrified right now probably because I’m using them a lot to type. It’s just like I ran really far, my heart is pumping, but I’m not panting or tired, it’s a compelling feeling that no one, their first time, would expect or be used too.

Current Time: 2:50 am

richi: Damn eh, sounds good lol... as you type, do you think or feel that you can type quicker, better, more precisely, or the opposite, or neither?

miguel: uhm I’m not sure, it depends on what im typing, if I want to type fast then its inaccurate, but if im not trying to go fast then its just fast its insane, its really hard to explain, its just random.

richi: True… do you think other people's experience with X for their first time is similar to yours, or do you have a feeling that your experience is somewhat unique/different?

miguel: Uhm everyone would like to think their experience is unique, but I want everyone else to feel this too, so I’m neutral on that question, I’m not really sure... I think I can describe it better then some other people can, not discriminating against E heads but most of them get so fucked.

richi: By get so fucked, you mean they dose so much they can no longer communicate or understand?

miguel: Uhm not like that but they are just filled with what they are feeling they don’t know what to say like: "oh man so sick so sick oh man like im fucked! I’m fucked!"

richi: Yeah I know what you mean. Personally never tired it, but it sounds like many people get confused when they try X.

miguel: Yea, maybe they fight it or are uncomfortable with the feeling, but I love it, this is what I live for, I live to skate and get a rush and yell and everything and its all the effects of that without the tiredness or fatigueless.

Current Time: 3:00 am

richi: So you could compare quite well the feeling ecstasy gives you the feeling skateboarding gives you right?

miguel: Yes exactly. But better though cuz im not tired and its never ending, you get this feeling after a miniramp run for about 3 mins

richi: Here’s a deeper question.... If you could, would you spend the rest of your life in this feeling? Think about it for a few seconds before you answer.

miguel [replies instantly]: No. Then I would have nothing to look forward to.

richi: Lol.. Very good.. Well then, would you dose again? If so, when do you think would be the next time you would?

miguel: Well, it wont be the same, because ill know what its gonna be like. But I’m holding this in im going to remember this forever, first time is always the best, except for sex, or so I heard.

richi: What have you heard about sex? That it’s not the best the first time?

miguel: Yes that’s what a lot of people say, but you always remember your first time, for me in life you do only a few amazing things:

birth

childhood

teenage life

sex

death

miguel [continues to say]: Maybe add have a kid in there, dunno though.

richi: Lol yes.. to keep our blood line alive and continue something which has been forever and we hope will continue forever, our human race.

Current Time: 3:10 am

miguel: yea, actually.. over the past month or so I’ve really obtained a new insight on life...

miguel [continues]: It’s amazing how we exist, it’s amazing how you pick up a calculator, and it just works, who came up with that, who tested that, how can we trust machines built my machines to build shit, it just works, its amazing how things just work and they are flawless, and a human being is so fucking incredible, we all know the world is a terrible place, yet we forget all about it when we party or talk with friends, or sleep, like everything wrong in the world is gone when your having fun, its so weird I don’t understand, and when you sleep, your gone, I think death is like that, just nothingness, but I hope not. But it’s just incredible the world we made for ourselves, food, shelter, purpose, there’s so many purposes on this planet. In 50 years we developed so much technology-wise... AND ALSO, our minds, matter can’t be created it can only be moulded, and matter is everything, EVERYTHING, except our mind.

Like I am thinking of a movie in my head, how did this form? How did I create this from nothing, the laws of physics and everything are contradictory to that, I cant think of something out of nowhere, it ahs to come from somewhere, and the mind is only the viewing point, what’s beyond that?

richi: That’s true, I’ve thought about the same thing, or same theme of things that is, because a lot of thoughts fall into this category of explanations for matter, the cosmos, our being, our reality. Because something cannot come out of nothing... or can it?

miguel: It can, because it does, its amazing, like what is our mind, we can hear ourselves talk, but what is it exactly, its unexplainable, who is talking, what kind of voice is it, its only our perception and experiences with real things that makes our thoughts. But how did someone invent the light bulb, that’s what is astonishing to me.

From nothing, absolutely nothing, he created something so amazing.

But what also makes me mad, is the concept of money, it’s our rise, our MAIN purpose, well not main, but our only way to survive, in the western world, and it will be our downfall. The world will do whatever it takes to profit until the very last minute, until money means nothing.

richi: Very true, good point. Money, which seams to make the world go round, will end up stopping it too. Right now, as you said, the western world and what we call 'civilized'  or 'modern' societies are all about finding new technology, developing new medicine, agriculture, machines, chemicals, you name it. Why? Because they better the world? Make life easier? Do good? Well perhaps, temporarily, but nope - its always for money... at the end of the day, someone is making money.

miguel: Yes, always. And someone is loosing it. But I am also amused..

miguel says:

with how the world seems to be in sync, we intvented the car, england got the car, we got computer, they got computer, there are no direct borderlines of society's needs wants and goods, everyone is pretty much on the same playing field

Current Time: 3:20 am

richi: yeah, everyone is competing one one level, but also co-operating on another, buying what they need, selling what they have. It’ss a win-win, lose-lose.

miguel: Yeah, which is amazing, there’s no real major wars nothing like that we are all in sync. But who knows what the future will hold, this world exists on a thread. There’s not much leverage... we used up a lot of resources very quickly, people have been saying we live in a shit world since the depression, and shit was bad then, it always seems to be bad, there can never be peace because the world needs drama it needs news it needs a drive, our drive is to live, to live there needs to be opposition, something saying no, you cant live, that’s our main purpose to live, and without death, fear, pain, suffering, there is no point to fight life and live, on a grand scale, the world is in distress because we strive for problems so we can add purpose and have a reason to fight on during life.

richi: That’s true, because there seems to be a good number of people that need a problem to work out, need a puzzle to solve. When there is no problem, they subconsciously create one, as if searching for a purpose.

miguel: Yes exactly, what I was trying to say, we just strive to find a problem, one day our evolutionary process might be able to fix that one problem, its so small yet it causes so much! The day that’s solved, we will truly have equal dominion, opportunity and power over ourselves, our future, and our planet.

richi: I think we, and all being, have total power over ourselves and our future, if we only knew and understood how to grab a hold of it, how to control it. Have you seen the movie "What the Bleep do We Know?"

miguel: Nope.

richi: I’ll let you borrow it then, once I get it back from the last person I leant it to. It’s half documentary, half follows the life of a photographer. It interviews many quantum physicists and neurologists along the way, explaining how our mind works, how the chemicals in our brain work, and how the atoms behave so mysteriously at the smallest, (quantum), level of existence, and such.

miguel: Crazy, that’s another thing, the remarkable discoveries of science, there’s no injury we can’t attempt or not know how to cure in the human body. That’s one great success, medicine, we truly have come a long way and I think that’s the most important thing about us, 1 doctor devoting so much time and effort to save one person, it’s remarkable.

Current Time: 3:30 am

richi: Yeah its true, we've built the pharmaceutical companies in 75 years. Before this time, there was no such thing as a drug that would be bought from a store, or medicine that a doctor could give you, not like we have today.

miguel: Yea there’s something for anything! It’s fucking crazy!

richi: But at the same time, corruption set in. Because, unfortunately, the pharmaceutical industry is an Industry, and it needs to prosper. And the more people that are sick, the more it prospers.

miguel: Birth control, migraine, nausea, ingestion, the runs, cold, flu, ANYTHING.

richi: Lol yeah.

miguel: Exactly. Good call. That was a topic featured in V for Vendetta actually.

richi: But what you will find is that many drugs do not address the CAUSE of the disease, the only SUPRESS the SYMTOMS.

miguel: And mission impossible 2, triple x one. Yeah, that’s so true. I bet they can stop it, but they just wont let it out cuz they want us to continue having the same problems.

richi: Yeah, most likely. Think about this: what do you think 'health' is? For you, anyway, would you say you are "healthy"? On a scale of 1-10.

miguel: To me im a 10, to a doctor im a 5, if I can walk straight, think straight, sleep fine, and socialise fine I am a 10. But I eat fast food, drink, do drugs, breathe bad air... its all bullshit but my systems are still running so I believe I am healthy.

Haha lets get back to questions I love answering them I can think so deep when im on E.

richi: Lol alright... hmm.... Oh yeah, I had one other question for you, how far are you into reading the Celestine prophecy?

miguel: Almost done, its an OK concept, I don’t know, there’s to much dialogue for me, and it seems like anyone who talks knows way too much, its not enough discovery, and I don’t like the writing style. If you wanted an opinion on it, haha.

richi: Aha yeah just wondering, so next question: How has the feeling you described at 2:40 changed? It’s one hour later, 3:35.

miguel: Uhm, its kind of dimming, but its still going good, right now I don’t what it to stop, its amazing, I can think deeper, talk more positively, im definitely doing this again. I can think clearer, everything is faster anything I think about comes together quicker and better.

richi: Can you relate this feeling to any feeling marijuana has ever given you?

Current Time: 3:40 am

miguel: Not really, marijuana is a happy high, but I think to much when im high, like I’m thinking a lot now, but when I think when im high I trip out and shit and its just slower and I feel like an idiot. With E, im not fighting the high, im analysing it and thoroughly enjoying it, not tripping out at all im extremely happy with my thoughts.

richi: Nicee.. And are you just as energetic now as you were before? Feeling pumped, heart racing, etc?

miguel: Uuhm not as much as before, but its still going, little calmer, but still fast, it’s great I don’t want it to end. I wish I could afford this drug. I’d go to school like this, haha.

richi: Aha yeah that tends to be a problem... How much did you dose and how much did it cost?

miguel: A full pill, just gotta link john a fiver, he’s pretty cooler then I thought he would be he just tossed it to me and gave me time to pay him later.

richi: yea.. that’s good.

miguel: And I’m even more happy cuz john got it from an old best friend of mine, jake legein ahahah.

richi: Yeah.. hold on im gona go take a piss.

miguel: kk

richi: Back

miguel: Yo, more questions!

Current Time: 3:50 am

richi: Lol kk leme think... alright, other than typing on msn, are you doing anything else?

miguel: I’m talking with a guy I just met from California. He’s explaining what it’s like to live there and shit. I’m using a program called ventrilo that enables me to speak to him in a server like msn but with a mic. I’m not talking cuz my mic doesn’t work but he is.

richi: Yeah like skype.

miguel: It’s quite entertaining.

richi: Yeah I wana visit California one day for sure, there’s a shitload of interesting people there if ya know where to look.

miguel: Yeah, so diverse.

richi: apparently there’s a guy that lives there, or Florida, that doesn’t eat. He gets all of his energy from the sun. And there’s another dood that will teach you to walk on fire in 3 days, using old humming/meditating techniques... But the course costs a hefty $20,000.

miguel: Hahahaha, loco!

richi: Yeahh lol

miguel: Haha, more questions!

richi: Lol ok got one, your sitting in your room right?

miguel: Yea

richi: So from your current point of view, how would you reflect on the style/appearance/feel of your personal room?

miguel: My room is chaos, it’s never clean, its always chaos. It’s a skater room, it’s just always messy and chaotic.

richi: And that suits you? Doesn’t bother you?

miguel: Not really, I only sit at my computer in my room and sleep, I don’t sit and relax staring at my walls. It’s just a resting point, my life exists outside.

richi: Hm.... cool. Okay, has your experience with E changes your perception on anything, either temporarily or permanently?

Current Time: 4:00 am

miguel: Uhm, well, this is random but im going to tell you. I’ve focused a lot of my energy on a certain group of girls i know, during school, after school, and I’ve decided I’m going to slow down, I’ve been ignoring ***** a lot and not talking to her so I think im going to start levelling out the plain since I don’t really see that the girls appreciate me as much as I appreciate them.

Weird but whatever haha I think about my life a lot, I may seem crazy, a shit talker, and whatnot, but I think ALOT a lot about my life and where it’s going to go.

richi: Lol no it’s not crazy, it’s just something that most people hide, myself definitely included, because no one else want’s to hear about it. I know what you mean though.

[personal comments removed]

Current Time: 4:10 am

richi: Yeaa, strangee…

miguel: ghey man ghey, "love" is gay and good at the same time.

richi: Lol yupp.

miguel: That’s the ultimate emotion I think haha.

miguel: It’s complete purpose.

richi: Lol yeah... yet are we as humans the only ones who can feel it?

miguel: And I really don’t know why people say it doesn’t exist.. do you believe in love? hahaha

richi: Aha yea of course.. but, is it saving us/making us... or ruining us?

miguel: Everything at the same time, hahaha.

richi: Yeaa most likely.

miguel: But yea I don’t get how people don’t believe in it, how can they not feel what me, or you, don’t feel, how can they not identify it.

richi: Yeah some people don't understand, because they haven’t been there. But most if not all people do at some point.

miguel: Yeah.

richi: Or so I’d think.

miguel: Maybe they don’t notice it.

richi: Ye... too preoccupied… maybe.

miguel: It’s confusing at first that’s for sure, it’s like being scared or psyched out.

richi: Yeah… n e wayz... im crazy tired, so im gonna head out.

miguel: Alright man, good talking to you, seriously.

richi: Lol yea man.. good stuff.

miguel: Fucking going to do it again some time.

richi: Lol sounds good.. I’ll save this convo alright? And we'll figure out something to do with it later.

miguel: Alright man, we'll start right where we left off hahaha.

richi: Lol yee.. aright take it e-z man.

miguel: seeya.

richi: Peacee.